Are Hustle Culture, Comparison, Vanity Metrics, and Sensory Overwhelm Killing Your Goals?
December 31, 2023
Cultural Norms encourage us to set the wrong goals
As we usher in the new year and consider what we would like to focus on and change in the upcoming year, I welcome a conversation about the cultural influences that hinder us.
A few major things about American culture distort our expectations and compromise our fulfillment when it comes to goal setting and achieving. These aren’t unique to America, but they are predominant here. I’m sure some of my friends in other countries have experienced some of these things too, so maybe it’s just modern culture. But let’s talk about it because there are some things working against us as we try to create meaningful goals that lead to a fulfilling life.
Hustle Culture and the Crazy High Expectations We Have
Hustle culture- pushing ourselves non-stop with high expectations to achieve.
“The American Dream” was founded on the idea that you can make anything happen if you work hard enough. There’s a cultural belief that we can have everything we want, or most things we want, if we work hard enough for them. We internalize the expectation that we should always be working to achieve our dreams because we each have so much potential that will go wasted if we don’t hustle.
This hustle often comes at a high cost including working overtime, spending less quality time with loved ones, increased stress, higher lifestyle costs because of lifestyle inflation, less time in nature, less time spent on our health, and less time doing hobbies. And these side effects of hustle culture have negative health and happiness outcomes.
Comparison Messes with our inner compass
Comparison makes us desire the things other people have instead of checking in with what we truly need or want for ourselves.
Feeling less than compared to others has exploded with social media over the past decade. The comparison makes us desire the things other people have instead of checking in with what we truly need or want for ourselves. We trick ourselves into thinking we will be happy if we have the accomplishments that appear to make others happy. Constantly feeling “behind” can create low self-esteem and a lack of contentment, leaving us always wanting more. This leads to setting goals based on vanity metrics.
Vanity Metrics Distort Our Goals
Vanity metrics are just that- metrics we measure ourselves with because they appear to reflect happiness and success. Rarely do they lead to happiness or success.
Vanity metrics are the modern version of “keeping up with the Joneses.” The desire to appear successful. Thankfully, most of us don’t compare our possessions or achievements to our next-door neighbors anymore. Unfortunately, the comparison has grown ten-fold with social media.
Instead of comparing ourselves to the few people we are regularly exposed to in real life, we now compare our lives to countless others on social media. We see their incredible vacations and their cute pets, their newest hobbies and obsessions, how happy and beautiful they seem, and we want those feelings and things for ourselves.
We don’t get the full picture of the lives we compare ours to on social media. Rarely do we see their ugly cry moments, their failures, their disappointments, and their struggles. We convince ourselves our lives are less than when we experience those lows without the highs they show us in their lives. We think- if I only drove that car, had that dream job, had our own successful business like them, had 100,000 followers, bought the organic skincare they use, had the wardrobe they have, took the vacations they take, had the money they have, had the relationship they have, then we would be happy like them.
We start to see those things as the metric for success and happiness. The trouble is, that’s not where our happiness lies. It’s all vain- how things appear on the outside to others.
What brings us fulfillment is different for each of us. 100,000 followers don’t necessarily convert to a profitable business that allows them to be all in on their family time. The new puppy they have peed on their carpet 50 times while potty training. These things look happy and great from the outside because we don’t see the messy, hard parts of it every day.
Vanity metrics are just that- metrics we measure ourselves with because they appear to reflect happiness and success. Rarely is it a real measure of happiness or success.
Sensory Overload Depletes Our Capacity
The overwhelm of sensory input is devastating to our capacity to emotionally regulate and focus on what matters most to us.
It’s hard to set and meet meaningful goals when you’re constantly overstimulated. Yet, most of us live in an overstimulating environment. We have a constant intake of information from social media, the news, podcasts, radio, audiobooks, digital games, and advertisements on all of these media. Rarely do we just sit in silence for regular periods of time and just let ourselves be. There are some really great youtube videos in which women talk about how sensory overload leads to being touched out, overwhelmed, and easily upset in relationships and unfulfilled with their life in general. The overwhelm of sensory input is devastating to our capacity to emotionally regulate and focus on what matters most to us.
How to set and complete meaningful goals despite these obstacles.
These are just four factors that I’ve noticed regularly impact my life and the lives of those I work with. As we step into the new year and consider what goals would be the most impactful in moving us toward the life we deeply desire, I think it’s important to evaluate how these cultural factors influence us. Are you setting goals in a way that doesn’t fall prey to these cultural norms and unhealthy influences? Are you able to dig deep down and figure out what matters most to you, not just setting your goals based on the priorities others have? When you look at the goals you have in mind, do they feel encouraging and hopeful or overwhelming and numerous?
I’d love to hear your experience with setting meaningful goals. See how these realizations translated to some pivotal thinking in my 2024 goal setting in this post- My 2024 Goals. For more in this series, see the following blog posts
How to Set Goals in a Healthy Way
How to Actually Achieve Your Goals
How to Make a Vision Board
Love,
Laura
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